That title may have been misleading. I don’t mean official music videos per se (although there are a couple). What I actually mean is terrible band performances/songs that somebody actually took time to commit to video.
I was reminded today of just how bad some bands are, when a friend directed me to the first video on this list. It features ZAR! A Romanian band that somehow thought booking a gig would be worthwhile, despite the fact that they sound like 5 crying elephants farting into a dead cat. Not that I’m complaining at all. For as bad as it sounds for the first 44 seconds, what follows after that point is quite possibly the worst/best musicianship in the world. Maybe they are just ahead of their time? In 20 years we might hail ZAR as the next Pink Floyd…..maybe not:
So what of the other ‘gems’ of which I earlier spoke? Well there really are countless entries to choose from. So how about I just list the best few and you can start your own journey from there:
First up we have a “band” who decided that the lead synth line of Europe’s Final Countdown would sound better if it was played on a guitar strung with pubes. To up the enjoyment even further the bass player refused to acknowledge that a genuine bassline ever existed for the song, and so angrily protested by playing all the other songs she knew at once.
Next we have a band whose singer is so rebellious that he refused a microphone lead that would give him any room to maneuver. I can only imagine how the band celebrated when they found a guitarist who actually might pass as old enough to buy them alcohol. But after they stopped celebrating his nu-metal beard and realised his guitar skills were about as pleasing to the ear as an overweight granny queefing all over the family Sunday Dinner……….well they obviously didn’t mind at all and just sent him out to try and get beer.
This final one is a bit unfair because it involves a band made up of very young children. Yes they should probably get the sympathy vote. But after inadvertently creating the soundtrack to a drunken clown’s death scene in an Italian art-house film, unfortunately all I can do is piss myself laughing!
So there you have it. A handful of horrors to make you realise that literally anyone can pick up a musical instrument, but it takes a special kind of person to keep it in their hands, and never put it down.